Posts marked with *** are must-reads.
January 31, 2016 - Post #3,183 ***
The Symphony
50/50 SUMMONING...
The Throne
(+1 from generic)
The Hourglass
(+2 from generic, +1 from TFT, ninjatwist and Pricey)
I +3 generic.
The Scribe waits in his study, closing his eyes and concentrating. After remaining motionless for half a minute, a multicolored candle lights into existence on a desk in front of him. The Scribe hesitantly opens his eyes and the candle flickers, threatening to go out. The Scribe shuts his eyes again, grimacing. "This candle... One that only burns while I blind myself. Shouldn't its effects be kicking in about now?" The Scribe waits for a few more seconds until his mind fills with static, as if it's tuning into some sort of extradimensional broadcast.
Suddenly, the Scribe feels something. "Yes! It's working!" His mind ignites, gaining sight beyond sight. Even with his eyes closed, he feels everything around him, all his other senses heightening. If he sacrifices his sight as he does now, he'll gain an amplified power over all his other senses, letting him enter doors that shouldn't exist. Keeping the candle lit on the table, the Scribe leaves the room, magical instruments and his Journal in tow. He climbs out of his laboratory and casually walks across the Battlefield with his eyes closed, somehow dodging ammunition, lasers, other projectiles, and whatever the heck Twitchy fires. After a few minutes, the Scribe clears the Battlefield entirely, wandering away from the fight to Yggdrasil.
He sees, without seeing, the road of carnage the battle has torn through already. The weapons of fallen entities, the discarded tools used by players... The ammunition shells of turrets, the dry patches of air where curses work their magic... But he is drawn to something. The Scribe is drawn to a door, far in the distance, that shines with the light of the rainbow. Its normal form is so bright it's invisible and intangible to the eye. But when you learn to cancel all vision, you can see it. And if you listen carefully, you can even hear it.
After several minutes, the Scribe finally finds the door, gleaming where only he can see it. The Scribe reaches out, feeling a nonexistent doorknob, and opens the door. The wind whistles across the field as blaring music bursts forth from the ajar door. So powerful are the sounds that the Scribe is knocked backwards, opening his eyes briefly. He sees a massive tear in reality in front of him before quickly shutting his eyes again. Running forward, the Scribe quickly grabs onto the door and shoves it open, jumping through.
The next thing he notices is that he's falling. Looks like there isn't any ground. Opening his eyes, the Scribe sees that he's in a massive open field dominated by many different colors, all shining at once. Music is twinkling across the field, but the Scribe cares nothing for it. Right now, he's concentrating on staying alive. But it turns out to not be an issue as the ground comes up much quicker than he thought it would and it's made out of fluffy clouds. The Scribe bounces on one of them, sailing through the air in an arc and bouncing across them some more afterwards.
"...Well, now I'm in this cloud place. To be honest, this isn't exactly where I thought I'd end up..." The Scribe looks around now that he's on the ground. There's no discernible end to the field of clouds, and the surface is pretty much devoid of any features beside a flat plane of clouds and the twinkling kaleidoscopic sky above. The music is also really loud, even though it's not in any genre the Scribe's ever heard before. The Scribe yells across the field, listening to it echo over and over. Getting bored of the place in just a few seconds, the Scribe cuts to the chase. "Hello? Is anyone here? I'm looking for... Asterism!"
The music suddenly repeats the same chord over and over until record static can be heard. The sky shuts itself off, and the clouds turn into missing texture blocks. The Scribe tenses, wondering what's going on. This wasn't what he had planned... Was it because he opened his eyes earlier? Did he not get sent to the right place? Suddenly, three massive spheres of light appear in the sky that shine down onto the Scribe. "WHO DARES ENTER THE SOUNDSCAPE." The voice booms across the entire area, warping the missing textures by a marginal degree. The Scribe's reply comes after a few seconds. "Call me the Scribe. I take it you're Asterism?" The three lights shut off for a split second before turning back on, almost like a blink. "INDEED. WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE... SCRIBE." The Scribe walks across the field for a little. "I need your help. And I know you need mine. I heard you've lost something. The Vox, correct?" The three eyes lean in closer. "HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOX."
The Scribe chuckles. "Listen, Asterism. You've heard of me already. It's impossible that you haven't. You know exactly what's going on here, don't you." The eyes glance away. "...YES. YOU SEEK TO HOLD MY CURSE, DON'T YOU. THE EMBLEM OF MY POWER." The Scribe's glasses gleam with malignance. "No. I don't want to hold it. I want to control it. And you're going to help me." The three eyes' light intensifies. "WHY SHOULD I. MESSING WITH THE GATE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, SCRIBE. AND I DON'T GIVE THE SOUNDSCAPE TO OUTSIDERS." The Scribe takes something from his coat. "I can get you the Vox back. I only ask that you come with me to Minecraftia."
The three eyes lean in very close, looking at the object the Scribe is holding. It looks like a bronze microphone, one spinning with interlocking gears and clockworks. "WHAT IS THIS THING." The Scribe looks at it. "The Vox, of course." The eyes narrow. "NO, IT'S NOT. I KNOW WHAT THE VOX IS, AND IT IS NOT THAT MICROPHONE." The Scribe laughs. "What is the Vox, really. A mystical artifact meant to weaponize one's voice? It's how you ruled the dimension of music. But the Vox was never just an object. It was intrinsically linked to the being with the most raw musical talent. It was only an amplifier." The three eyes blink in surprise. "YOU KNOW A LOT MORE THAN YOU LET ON." "Perhaps I know too much. Anyway, this should serve to be an adequate replacement for the Vox until I find the real thing."
The light shines with a solid white color as the microphone floats up to the sky, reduced to a speck. Then the lights shut off and the sky turns back on, this time a formless white void. Hovering in front of the Scribe is a humanoid figure with a flowing set of wings, two sets of arms, and a rippling cloak emblazoned with musical terminology from other dimensions. The figure's actual skin is liquid color, flowing with the rainbow. He has three piercing eyes, with one above the two normal eyes, and a slit for a mouth. The perfect combination of sight and sound. Asterism.
"...I KNOW WHAT GAME YOU'RE PLAYING, SCRIBE," Asterism says once he touches the ground with the microphone in hand. "IT'S A DANGEROUS ONE. ONE THAT COULD BACKFIRE ON YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'VE DECIDED TO PUT YOURSELF IN CHARGE. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK IT'S OKAY. BUT I ONLY HOPE THE GODS ARE MERCIFUL ON YOU IF YOU LOSE." The Scribe stares at Asterism coldly. "I stopped believing in the gods a long time ago." Asterism blinks in surprise, floating around the Scribe in a circle. "YOU'RE STARING AT ONE. LOOK AT ME, I RULE OVER THIS PLACE. A POCKET DIMENSION I BEND TO MY WILL, A CONDUIT FOR MY POWER. I CHALLENGE ANYONE HERE TO GAMES OF SIGHT AND SOUND IN THE VAIN HOPE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE LOCATION OF MY ONLY POSSESSION... BUT NO. IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME." Asterism changes his voice into imitations of others.
"I want to have the greatest singing voice in the world!" "I want to release a hit new single that'll make me millions of units!" "I want to be one of those giant floating heads that judges entire planets on their singing abilities!" Asterism sighs. "LISTEN, GO TO THE DEVIL IF YOU WANT TO GET UNNATURAL SKILL AT FIDDLING. HE'LL DO IT FOR A PRICE. I'VE NEVER BEEN ONE TO MAKE DEALS. BUT YOU, SCRIBE... I DON'T LIKE YOU, BUT I RESPECT YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. I CAN TELL." The Scribe laughs. "Wow, I'm flattered. Now can we go or not." Asterism's wings flutter. "YES. BUT FIRST, I NEED TO WARN YOU." The Scribe rolls his eyes. "Here we go."
Asterism's arms extend as the sky rearranges itself. The clouds make a story, the stars make up images. "YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DO THIS. I DOUBT YOU'LL BE THE LAST. YOU'RE JUST ONE IN A CYCLE. THOSE WHO TRY TO COLLECT THE CURSES OF THE ORDER... THEY THINK THEY CAN GAIN ULTIMATE POWER. THEY THINK THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. AND THEY'RE RIGHT. THEY CAN." The image of a gate with eight circles around it, and a ninth at its center. "WITH THE OPENING OF THE GATE COMES UNIMAGINABLE POWER... BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN KILL THE THING BEHIND IT. ONLY IF YOU CAN KILL THE FOUNDATION OF REALITY. YOU ARE AWARE THAT MORE HARM WOULD COME FROM THAT THAN GOOD... CORRECT?" The Scribe's eyes gleam with light that isn't there. His hand is enveloped with darkness. "I'm bored of this conversation. But yes. I am well aware of the risks. I only seek to succeed where the gods have failed." Asterism sighs. "SO BE IT." The image shuts itself off.
A portal appears around Asterism. "WALK THROUGH THIS, AND WE WILL BE BACK AT MINECRAFTIA. I WILL FOLLOW YOUR COMMAND IN BATTLE, USING THE SOUNDSCAPE AND THIS FAUXVOX. BUT YOU'D BETTER DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE, SCRIBE. GET ME THE REAL VOX, AND THEN YOU'LL TRULY SEE WHAT I CAN DO." The Scribe laughs. "Looking forward to it." The both of them walk through, battle lingering on their minds.
The Third. Asterism is a demigod with the power to control sound and sight. He can switch between controlling both of these at will, but can only control one aspect at a time. His three eyes give him the power to warp the spectrum of color as he sees fit, and his Fauxvox lets him manipulate waves of sound, making symphonies of destruction. However, Asterism's true power can only be unlocked when the Scribe collects the Vox, a powerful artifact that blurs the line between seeing and hearing.
ATTACKS:
Triple Rainbow: Asterism's three eyes gleam, creating three circular rainbows that converge on one enemy, dealing moderately high damage and Blinding it for fhree turns. Usable in Sight mode.
Tuplet Trill: Asterism's wings vibrate at high speeds, creating a large amount of energy inside the Fauxvox that fires three beams of sound at an enemy, dealing moderate damage and Confusing it. Usable in Sound mode.
Color Wheel: Asterism's eyes power up while a D8 is rolled. Usable in Sight mode.
(1) Asterism's eyes turn red as he fires three laser beams at an enemy, which takes low damage. Asterism takes moderate recoil damage.
(2) Asterism's eyes turn orange as he fires three laser beams at the ground, creating a massive fireball that deals moderate damage to an enemy and Burns it for 2 turns. Asterism takes low recoil damage.
(3) Asterism's eyes turn yellow as he fires three laser beams at the sun, absorbing its energy. Asterism heals himself and an ally.
(4) Asterism's eyes turn green as he fires three laser beams at an enemy, creating a mushroom cloud that deals moderately high damage to an enemy and Contaminates it for 3 turns. (Remember, Contamination spreads amongst enemies!)
(5) Asterism's eyes turn blue as he fires three laser beams at the ocean, creating a tidal wave that washes over an enemy and then freezes, dealing high damage to an enemy and Freezing it for a turn.
(6) Asterism's eyes turn indigo as he fires three laser beams at the moon, casting darkness over the area. Asterism does a sneak attack, dealing high damage to an enemy and Blinding three other enemies for a turn.
(7) Asterism's eyes turn purple as he fires three laser beams at an enemy, heavily corrupting their code and dealing very high damage.
(8) Asterism's eyes turn white as he purifies an enemy, dealing extremely high damage and breaking their mind.
Full Octave: The Fauxvox powers up while a D8 is rolled. Usable in Sound mode.
(1) The Fauxvox plays a C note at an enemy, creating a low shockwave that deals low damage to an enemy but tears up the ground around it, creating a shield of earth that must be destroyed before the enemy can be attacked.
(2) The Fauxvox plays a D note at an enemy, creating a mild shockwave that melts the ears of animals, creating a stampede that deals moderate damage to an enemy and an ally.
(3) The Fauxvox plays an E note at an enemy, making their ears bleed and incapacitating them. They take moderate damage and are Confused for two turns.
(4) The Fauxvox plays an F note at an enemy, caving in the ground under them and making them fall into a ravine. They take moderately high damage and causing the next three attacks they make to have a 50% chance of missing.
(5) The Fauxvox plays a G note at an enemy, disrupting with the frequencies of heaven and causing God to throw a lightning bolt down in disgust, dealing high damage to an enemy and Paralyzing them for two turns.
(6) The Fauxvox plays an A note at an enemy, messing with the geometry of the world and dealing high damage to an enemy. Two other enemies take moderately low damage.
(7) The Fauxvox plays a B note at an enemy, creating a high shockwave that causes a pounding beat to wash over the world, making everyone spontaneously do the Gangnam Style dance. The enemy dares to suggest that Gangnam style is so 2012, causing everyone to dogpile on it and deal very high damage.
(8) The Fauxvox plays a high C note at an enemy, creating a multitude of shockwaves, dealing extremely high damage and breaking their mind.
Prism Break: Asterism's three eyes turn an entire section of ground into glass and raise it into the sunlight, causing a multitude of colors to shine over three enemies. Asterism somehow superheats the color, dealing moderately low damage to all three enemies. Asterism then gains the power to control them for that turn. Usable in Sight mode.
Black Key: Asterism's cloak sways in the wind as the Fauxvox creates a pulsing ball of black energy, raising it into the air as it lets out a burst of sharps and flats. The sharps cut through two enemies and the flats stomp through two other enemies, dealing moderately low damage to all of them. Asterism then gains the power to take the damage dealt to them and heal an ally with it for that turn. Usable in Sound mode.
Seeing is Believing: Asterism's three eyes project images of heroism and bravery over his allies, encouraging them to never give up. Three allies' next attacks will crit for one turn. Usable in Sight mode.
Hearing is Fearing: Asterism's wings envelop the enemy side while the Fauxvox emits screeching tones that worm into the enemies' minds. Three enemies will gain the Fear debuff for three turns. Usable in Sound mode.
SPECIAL ATTACKS:
Spectra: Asterism splits into seven copies of himself, each representing a different color. They then split an enemy into seven copies of itself, with the Asterism complementary to the enemy attacking it. Finally, all seven Asterisms converge on the enemy, forming one whole being that shatters it into many pieces. The enemy takes very high damage and is unable to attack at all for a turn. Takes two turns to charge. Usable in Sight mode.
Sinewave: The Fauxvox's handle turns into a metal rod that is raised in the air, emitting massive soundwaves that tear through the landscape, destroying mountains and carving trenches into the ground. All of the shrapnel is packed into a ball and sent flying at three enemies, which all take high damage and are piled on top of each other, becoming Confused for two turns. Takes two turns to charge. Usable in Sound mode.
Monochrome: Asterism's eyes roll over to the back of his head as he absolves an enemy of any color at all, trapping them in a prison of blacks and whites. All the happiness and joy is sucked from their life as their form slowly fades away, taking extremely high damage. Takes three turns to charge. Usable in Sight mode.
Tone Deaf: The Fauxvox emits a massive throbbing noise that traps an enemy in the air. The Fauxvox then explodes, the force of the impact making a horrible ringing noise sound in the enemy's ears. They cannot hear anything except the noise, causing them to go crazy and take extremely high damage. Takes three turns to charge. Usable in Sound mode.
The Voice: Asterism gains the Vox. Takes six turns to charge.
PASSIVES:
Sound/Sight: Asterism has two modes: Sight Mode and Sound Mode. Entering a mode gives Asterism a unique palette of attacks, but he can only enter one mode a turn. Asterism's special attacks charge up regardless of what mode he's in.
Blindness: Some of Asterism's attacks have a chance to Blind enemies. Blindness doesn't make it so enemies attack their allies like Confusion. Blindness simply gives them a chance to not be able to attack at all.
Vox: Once Asterism gains the Vox, he will have the power to merge sound with sight and gain a completely new set of abilities. But that's a while from now. The Scribe needs to find the thing first.
Scream: Asterism has a surprise to unleash when he dies...
February 5, 2016 - Post #3,248 ***
The Throne:
(+1 from Bomber, jondanger, ninjatwist, Revan and TFT)
The Hourglass:
(+2 from Bomber, +1 from TFT and jondanger)
I +3 Bomber.
Ultra Greed uses Wheel of Fortune. Asterism switches to Sight Mode and uses Color Wheel.
A message to the lost souls:
Please finish your charges soon. All we need is a little more time. Considering the size of this whole thing, though... They'll need a lot more than time.
The Scribe stands in the middle of the onslaught as bones and wind whips around him. He stares at the carnage. "...One little skeleton is capable of this madness. I've never seen anything like it... Not even in any of the books I've read or made. Just where is that flower..." Flowey pops up from underground, cackling. The Scribe feels relieved yet drained of energy. "Flowey... Good. Maybe you can help me deal with this monster."
Flowey looks around cheerfully. * Golly, Sans is really giving it all he's got, huh? This place is getting torn to shreds! The Scribe shrugs. "Yeah, no kidding. That skeleton really doesn't want to die. He's too busy clinging on to life to realize that everyone has their end." Flowey beams at the Scribe. * Excellent philosophy, Scribe! I see you've taken my advice to heart! The Scribe looks at the ground dully. "I learned from the best." Flowey laughs some more. * Yep, that's what I am! THE BEST. It's just you and me, Scribe. You and me versus a harsh and uncaring world. But once we plant our seed and let it grow... We can make this place MY world.
Flowey laughs as his form flickers with dark energy. Roots spiral throughout the ground, but not the fabled roots of Yggdrasil with their golden gleam and sturdy wood. His roots are sickly and purple, rotten to the core. Flowey's no flower. He's a weed. But his influence is undeniable. The Scribe stands by, passively, as Flowey's tendrils spread across the battlefield, giving him a railway straight to the heart of the source - Sans. Flowey glides all the way to the skeleton, who, even in the face of such a corrupted and soulless beast, smiles.
* There you are. I've gotta hand it to you, "Sansy". You had me convinced you were all bark and no bite for a while. But now...? Flowey's roots intermingle with the rushing whirlwind of Sans' bones, but his white fury somehow breaks free of Flowey's chains. Flowey's smile disappears, replaced by a look of hatred. * Come on, skeleton. You really think you can top me? This fit over people you barely know, people who've embraced a warlike stance? Flowey cartwheels around Sans, who barely seems to notice. * There's only one warlord from the Underground fit to rule over this place, and it's not you. I am the prince of this world's future. I am the one who knows this pointless battle's mentality. You're fighting to save your hopes and dreams. And me? I'm fighting to SAVE over everyone else's.
Flowey looms over Sans. * So what if I don't have a SOUL? I don't need one in a war where everyone else acts soulless! These people rushing forward to kill you... They're doing it because this is all just a game. It's all just a joke. You know it is. So why don't you just let them win? Flowey's face changes expressions to several different faces. * Don't you want to see your brother? Your friend? Your mentor? ...The human? Does anything at all matter to you? Flowey backs away. * Because, if it doesn't... Then you can gladly join me in hell.
Sans launches a wall of bones straight at Flowey, knocking him through the air and onto the opposite side of the Battlefield. The Scribe registers it dimly. He can only look at Sans with a defeated expression. "Does anything at all matter... No. Why do I bother acting at all. I live inside... a LIE!" The Scribe rushes forward in anger towards Sans. "Why should I bother to make any decision when every decision I make is already made for me? I had forgotten this... this feeling! Do I remember it well? Is this what living under a god's reign feels like? The feeling that every choice you make is puppeteered by a divine plan? Because if it is? If you're listening, gods? I've got something to say!"
The Scribe leaps in the air and pulls out the Rorschach. "I'M DONE FOLLOWING THE PLANS OF SOME DIVINE BEING! I TORE MY EYES AWAY FROM YOUR CONTROL YEARS AGO ONLY TO FIND MYSELF IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE WORSE! TAZZ! WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHEREVER YOU ARE! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT, WHEN MY PLAN WORKS... WHEN THE PACT I'VE MADE IS SEALED IN BLOOD... YOU'RE GOING TO PAY." The Scribe plunges the Rorschach into the ground, creating a jagged spike of corruption that disturbs the landscape, turning several of Sans's bones black and withering them away. The grass dies, the stone cracks, the trees fall, and the entities tremble. Sans, still in the middle of it all, keeps standing there with that smug grin. The Scribe walks towards him, his sword still in the ground, quivering.
"What?" The Scribe looks at the ground, his head low. "You think I'm just gonna stand there and take it? No. I'm through with this mess of a war. I was right to come here, but now it's time to leave. I've gained enlightenment beyond what I thought possible. I know the reality of this world now. And you do, too. I'm not going to kill you. You don't deserve death. What you need to do is either get in or get out." The Scribe points to five other people. "The hand who knows the truth. The schemer who turns to darkness. The golem who lives in emptiness. The sleuth who has his own problems. The beast who looks for answers. They all live the same hollow existence as I. And as you. I offer you a choice."
Hushed and echoed music plays throughout the battlefield as time slows. "Join me. Join us six. Join Flowey in his quest. Together, we can do away with anyone who wants to kill you. These godmodders, these players... Let's turn them all to dust." The Scribe steps back. "Or, you can turn around and ignore me. If you do that... If you turn your back on what could be an opportunity to create a new era in this world... Then you should get out of here. Find whatever shortcut or exit you can. Because if you oppose the Pact I've made... You're going to be one of those who we strike off the record. I know I said I won't kill you. But when our plan succeeds, I won't be the one in charge."
The ground around the Rorschach is so corrupted that it erodes entirely, creating a gaping hole in the earth that caves in steadily with each passing second. The withered purple grass fades away into the maw of death that is slowly becoming the Battlefield. Everything falls into the hole that defies the foundation of the underground labyrinth that makes up the bulk of the world, creating a chasm that extends down to bedrock and liquefies into pure ink. Sans dodges the attack, standing atop his throne of bones. He glares at the Scribe - did his eye just flicker with cyan for a moment?
Everyone flees from the field as the hole in the world grows and grows, its greedy vortex pulling in all. Sans' onslaught stops as the whirlwind of corruption increases, viewing the Scribe with distaste. He's just like the others, isn't he. He's willing to kill because it's business. The Scribe scans the field hungrily, looking for a target... Ah. The Haunt. Just another ghost who needs to be locked back in hell. The Scribe takes the Rorschach, which is floating in the air and acting as a hub for the corruption, and points it at The Haunt.
Instantly, the ghost is flung into the pit of corruption by a gravitational force so powerful it exceeds the natural flight all ghosts possess. The Haunt disappears into a speck, colliding with the ink below. His form turns purple and rotten, vapors and fire emanating from his body as he crumbles into the ink, becoming one with its liquid. The Scribe then tosses some white-out into the pit. Instantly, the roaring vortex stops, the entire battlefield patching itself back up in the span of a second.
The Scribe doesn't chuckle; he barely emotes at all. He just lands on the ground, looking at Sans. "I'll do anything at all to get out of this hell. I know you understand that. But I'm telling you. You need to make a choice. You all need to make a choice. You call yourself the players... No. You're the ones being played."
In a puff of smoke, the Scribe disappears, retreating underground. (If The Haunt can't be targeted, just target another random PZ entity.)
February 6, 2016 - Post #3,267
The Throne:
The Hourglass:
I +3 Bomber. We need to get you an open charge slot fast.
While the Scribe skulks off, Uncle Grandpa returns for some family-friendly hijinks. He looks at the writhing abomination that is Twitchy with disgust - or, more specifically, he looks at the seizure-inducing section of Twitchy that has the very real capability to revive something long past its expiration date: The Hivemind. Uncle Grandpa understands what he has to do. It's time to attack.
The Hivemind floats in the air without a care in the world until it feels a stabbing sensation. A bee just stung it. The bee dies shortly thereafter and the sting wasn't even that bad, just a little cut. The Hivemind relaxes some more until it hears something in its ear-analogue: a buzzing noise. The Hivemind turns every which way to try and pinpoint the noise, but it finds nothing. Then it feels a few more stings and finds a few more dead bees. Weirded out at this point, the Hivemind acutely scans the battlefield to stop any more bee attacks before they happen. After a few minutes of boredom, the Hivemind is satisfied.
Then the sun disappears.
The Hivemind blinks in shock. Did that actually just happen? Was the sun kicked from the sky and thrown in to space? Is eternal night and damnation going to be the future the Hivemind is condemned to? ...No. The sun's still there, it's just blocked by a writhing cloud. A cloud so dense and massive it looks alive. The Hivemind takes a closer look. The cloud's made of... Oh. The cloud's made of bees.
Instantly, the cloud shoots from the sky, swarming right for the Hivemind. But these aren't your ordinary bees. These are killer wasps summoned from Uncle Grandpa's signature Beezooka. They have large stingers, menacing purple eyes, and drills for hands. The onslaught rushes around the Hivemind, trapping it inside a swirling ring of bees. The bees absorb all the nutrients and honey from the earth, quickly assembling a mighty fortress around the Hivemind forged from honeycombs. To prevent the Hivemind from leaving the castle, three rings of OHKO bee spike stingers, each larger than the last, is positioned around the castle in a dome.
The Hivemind must go through the castle and defeat all of the bee-related challenges it finds along the way if it wants a shot at leaving. But of course, the Hivemind doesn't want to do any of that. It just wants to focus on reviving Twitchy and gaining enough energy to accomplish that task. It can't afford to be distracted by such menial trials. So the Hivemind sits in place in the middle of the castle of honeycombs, standing still and doing nothing except charging energy and browsing internet forums. This goes on for half an hour.
After that time, every bee imaginable swarms out of the honeycombs, supercharged with the raw honey they've collected. Their drills pierce through the Hivemind's body, jabbing at its insides and spreading poison throughout its veins. Howling with pain, the Hivemind storms through the castle entrance, ready to solve any trial to just get this hell of stingers over with. The first challenge is a pit the Hivemind must jump over. If it fails, it falls into the pit and is eaten by bee stingers. The Hivemind makes the jump, determined, when it finds that the bees have stung its legs off mid-flight. The Hivemind falls into the pit and is eaten alive.
Once the Hivemind recovers, swelling and gaping wounds all across its body which is now made of more poison than blood, the Hivemind reaches the next challenge: it must run through a field of sweet-smelling flowers. During the spring. In a Sunflower Plains XL biome. With honey lathered all over its body. The Hivemind barely makes it a foot before bees cover every pore on its body. After another half an hour of dragging its way through the plains biome, the Hivemind finishes the challenge, making it to the next room of the castle.
The Hivemind must fight a giant honeycomb statue armed with a gargantuan bee stinger for a sword. At this point, the Hivemind has developed an instinct to cower and run from bee stingers, so when he sees the statue's weapon, the Hivemind hides in a corner. The twist is that the statue was never a LIVING statue, just a statue, so the Hivemind is running from nothing and is now wasting minutes of precious time. Then all the bees re-emerge from their honeycombs and keep stinging the Hivemind until it leaps from its hiding spot, yelling furiously and breaking the statue in one strike. Guess what was inside? That's right! Another swarm of bees. The Hivemind barely makes it out of the room in one piece.
Next, the Hivemind must climb a staircase with 909,000 steps. That's not that hard, the Hivemind thinks! But it has to do it on a really narrow staircase where only one foot can be on a step at a time, and each step is really high so you need to climb up what amounts to a short wall to get to the next one, and if you fall off, you fall into a lake of molten honey, and you're also covered in honey, and there are a thousand beehives swarming the ceiling so if one little noise disturbs them, the bees will awaken. Also the steps are covered in ice. The Hivemind makes it to the 909,000th step without a hitch until it sneezes, launching itself backwards, landing on every spike individually, falling into the lake of honey, and awakening the beehives.
After ten more trials of a similar caliber, the Hivemind finally makes it to the throne room of the Honeycomb Castle. Seated on the throne is an anthropomorphic Impetus Comb. The Hivemind understands what's going on here - the bees are going to use the honey they collected to unleash a devastating Comb Rave with the intent of finishing the Hivemind off! However, the bees have failed to realize that the honey they've found isn't Pang Nectar (so it can't fill the Comb) AND Comb Raves aren't a feature in the game (so they can't exist). The Impetus Comb glitches out of existence, causing the entire castle to melt into pure corruption, trapping the Hivemind into an unstable pocket dimension that is made ENTIRELY of OHKO bee spikes.
Results are predictable.
(In case the Hivemind is dead, I attack the Haunt. Envision a similar attack but filled with ghosts instead of bees. In case HE is dead, I attack a random PZ entity. Envision a similar attack but filled with something that would be equally detrimental to the entity and relating to their name.)
February 8, 2016 - Post #3,303 ***
The Throne:
(+2 from Tazz, +1 from ninjatwist, TFT, teag2 and Revan)
The Hourglass:
(+2 from Tazz, +1 from ninjatwist)
(+2 from Tazz)
I +3 crystalcat.
An unearthly amber light fills the Scribe. He twitches slightly before moving on. And then he hears it. The Scribe hears Tazz. He somehow knows it's him despite having never heard him before. He knows because only a voice so all-encompassing and powerful, yet personal and calm could come from someone who has complete authority over everything. The Scribe doubles over, clamping his hands over his ears, as if trying to ignore Tazz despite the voice coming from practically inside his own head.
Flowey comes over to the Scribe, looking at him with a bemused expression. The Scribe turns around, angrily muttering at Flowey. "What are you looking at." Flowey laughs. * Oh, nothing. I just think it's interesting how easily you despise anyone with complete power over you. Kinda makes it look like you've got an inferiority complex or something, huh? The Scribe chuckles. "Yeah. Sure. Tazz just told me... we'll need to fight him and win once the Pact is completed." Flowey stares at the Scribe. * We'd better make sure to do what the mighty Game Master says, huh?
The two burst out with laughter.
Flowey stops moving, turning back to look at Sans. Something crosses his face for the briefest of seconds until his face lurches into a twisted grin. * She will suffer. And if she doesn't, I'll make her suffer. Flowey then burrows back into the ground.
It's that time of the month again! Uncle Grandpa's returned for another amazing attack! He sizes up the competition, deciding to just pick a PZ entity to attack at random! Better than that, he decides to not even do the picking! He'll hire someone else to do it! He gathers a variety of people to the field and asks them what the most threatening entity is! Everyone votes Sans because he's currently beating the tar out of everyone and everything in the game. Uncle Grandpa sighs, grows some muscles, and takes a good look at Sans.
Sans stares back with a grin that stretches across the corners of his face, two empty soulless eye sockets, and flames of cyan energy curling from his bleached white skull. Sans extends a bony hand and, instantly, a row of bones knocks into Uncle Grandpa, launching him into the air like he was shot out of a cannon. That isn't where Uncle Grandpa started, but that's where he's ending up - Uncle Grandpa sails through the air in a perfect arc and lands in the barrel of a large cannon that aims itself at a location far off in the horizon.
When Uncle Grandpa lands, he finds himself in a weird and strange world. This world has an orange sky, a black sun, red grass, and dull blue wood. Everything's opposite, and nothing is as it should be. But for some absurd reason, in this world, it's kill or be killed everything is made out of bones, down to the atomic level. Uncle Grandpa looks closer, seeing that the world is an exact replica of the server he's on, complete with skeleton replicas of every player, entity, and godmodder. And there, standing in the middle of it all, is the replica of Sans.
This replica of Sans is... weird. He still has the grin and his hands are in his pockets, but everything else about him is completely different. He has a baseball cap on his head, a yellow-and-blue striped shirt, blue shorts, some sort of badge, and he appears to be an actual human. Surrounding him, instead of columns of bones, appears to be towers of elemental psionic energy. Yep. There's no doubt about it. SANS IS NESS CONFIRMED.
I mean, it's pretty obvious. Just take a look at the fact that Sans repeatedly talks about how he "can't go back". What's the "back" he's talking about? Could it be the realm of Earthbound, which he abandoned when he died and turned into a skeleton? He also knows what the sun is, something none of the other monsters mention, and explicitly says "we call that the sun" when all the monsters see it on the surface, implying him and others know about the sun, which furthers the connection to Sans and people on the surface.
And remember in Sans's secret lab, when there's a picture of him with others the player doesn't recognize? Obviously those people were the other protagonists of Earthbound, and the player is able to recognize Ness as Sans because they look similar because they're the same person! Not to mention the fact that there's a badge in Sans' secret lab - Franklin Badge, anyone? Oh, and Papyrus has the Starman logo on his battle body, so he must be a Starman!
...Let's face it, this theory sucks. But there's gotta be some kind of truth to it, because Sans is quite clearly Ness in this nega-dimension! Uncle Grandpa grabs Ness and plot holes his way back to reality. Ness and Sans have an intense staredown which culminates in them having a nice long chat about their pasts. Eventually the two realize that in this reality, Sans isn't Ness, but in the nega-reality, Sans is Ness. As it turns out, in this reality, Sans is actually just Sans! Mind-blowing, huh? What's next, you're gonna tell me the Employer is actually just the Employer?
Ness has become good friends with Sans and decides he doesn't want to attack him. Uncle Grandpa, sensing the two have formed an unbreakable bond, directs Ness to attack a random PZ entity. The group of people Uncle Grandpa gathered to survey on who he should attack are outraged that their votes meant nothing, but Uncle Grandpa assures them that their lives still have meaning when he arranges them into the formation of pins in a bowling alley. Ness PK Thunders a thunderball into himself, skyrocketing into the crowd and knocking them over into a random PZ entity. The electricity damage and Ness going at really high speeds deals additional damage.
February 11, 2016 - Post #3,368 ***
The Throne:
(+1 from FBSN, Revan, Pricey, jondanger and teag2)
The Hourglass:
(+1 from TFT)
(+6 from Cobalt)
(+2 from jondanger in reserve)
I +3 crystalcat.
The Scribe wastes no time introducing his next summon. He packs his bags and loads up a massive amount of guns into his coat pocket. Stepping on a pressure plate in a chamber of his lab, machinery around the room activates and, in a chorus of sparks, a swirling purple portal appears in the middle of the room. The Scribe feels drawn to it, and not in the metaphorical sense - it's pulling him in. Steeling himself, the Scribe enters the portal...
...And steps into the Wasteland.
The Scribe plunges feet-first into a barren desert littered with mutated cacti, skulls, and fish that aren't okay to eat. There's a series of trenches carved into the desert rock and populated with bandits and other assorted enemies. The Scribe must kill them all in his depressing quest. He was only one simple task: reach the Nuclear Throne. And so his journey begins, amidst a blazing ballad of acoustic guitar, an ominous chorus, a harmonica, and some drums.
After laying waste to the denizens of the desert, the Scribe continues onwards. He collects many tiny green rods, each one amplifying a green haze over his eyes. The Scribe knows the Wasteland is changing him. Its radiation is mutating him. For the better? For the worse? He'll have to find out on his way to the Throne. Four shots from a grenade launcher and the Big Bandit is down. The Scribe continues.
He enters an array of catacomb sewers. The smell is undeniable. He kills a pack of rats and bandits before moving onwards, ignoring a shell-shaped sewer grate. The Scribe picks up even more weaponry on his way, and his various mutations are starting to catch up with him. They augment his power, yet cripple his body. Next up is a massive scrapyard filled with cars. Each explosion of a car engine takes out another pack of enemies. The Scribe shoots a specific golden car without a second thought. Rap music dies off in the distance.
The Scribe meets a hulking abomination - the Big Dog. His spinning bullet hell patterns are no match for the Scribe's own seemingly-lightspeed projectiles. Big Dog falls, creating what might as well be a nuclear explosion. The Scribe continues, going on and on through the Wasteland. Past crystal caves. Past frozen cities. Past laboratories. Past vaults with crowns. All the while, the Scribe keeps mutating and mutating. Until, finally, he hits the limit. The Scribe's skin becomes a pale green. His blood burns with lime power, his eyes flickering with emerald novas. The Scribe is now the Mutation.
Storming into the palace, the Scribe fights off everything, running straight for the grand prize. The ultimate treasure at the end of this dungeon. The light at the end of the tunnel. Standing at the end of a humongous red carpet - or rather, sitting - is a skeleton. And the glorified chair that skeleton is sitting on... The one burned with a green insignia of power... is the Nuclear Throne.
At the foot of this beast, the Scribe makes no effort to run or fight. Instead, he pulls out a guitar... And then he plays a song. A song that echoes the lives of everyone and everything at home. He sings a song about the Kings and Queens of Wasteland.
Gun smoke in the air
Friend weeping in pain
Blood pools everywhere
It's pouring acid rain
Our homes destroyed
Wishing this to end
Hey, someone's coming here
I hope it's a friend
It's not fair, it's not right, there's no reason to fight
But still that is our daily lives
Guns loaded, blind hatred, no eyes that are kind
And no sleep at night
Kings and Queens of Wasteland we were
And already forgotten the reasons to fight
From the day we were born was bloodshed forever
We've seen enough comrades go dead in the night
Distant call for help
Only thing I can hear
*FLÄSHYN*
What did they just say?
Only beam of light in our lives are
Occasional mutated fish
I'm not even sure if it's OK to eat, but still it feels like
We were granted a wish
It's not fair, it's not right, there's no reason to fight
But still that is our daily lives
Guns loaded, blind hatred, no eyes that are kind
And no sleep at night
Kings and Queens of Wasteland we were
And already forgotten the reasons to fight
From the day we were born was bloodshed forever
We've seen enough comrades go dead in the night
...And
Kings and Queens of Wasteland we still are
After so many fights, the ground all in blood
Today is the day we all call ourselves free
And we throw all our weapons, into the sludge
By the time the song is done, the Scribe is crying. "Please... Just let me be free."
The throne does not move. Not until a minute has passed. Then, whirring noises fill the entire chamber. The throne rises out of the ground on top of a massive robotic tank. It sprouts huge metal tendrils for legs, gains chrome exhaust pipes that bellow green fire, and prepares a large array of silver cylinders that flash with green light. The Nuclear Throne is ready to end another apocalyptic war.
"FLÄSHYN."
This is it. The legend of the throne rings true. This is what lies beyond the portal. The Nuclear Throne is a coveted artifact of immense power in a post-apocalyptic future known only as the Wasteland. Many have tried and failed to reach the Nuclear Throne and unlock its secrets... But such a throne does not go quietly into the night. The Nuclear Throne is the king of the Wasteland. Here's how it works.
PASSIVES:
Radiation: The majority of the Throne's attacks inflict the Radiation debuff. It's a normal DOT status effect, but it powers some of the Throne's more powerful attacks, including its main gimmick.
Throne Statues: The Throne spawns with ten Throne Statues that are invulnerable and can only be destroyed when the Throne activates the Guardian special attack. When destroyed, each Throne Statue will spawn a Guardian. Five Throne Statues will be respawned after two turns have passed, and then another five will respawn after two more turns.
Heavy is the Head: The Throne's main draw is its ability to summon any of the Mutants from Nuclear Throne. However, these Mutants are Nuclear versions of their former selves, corrupted by the Throne's influence. They will use their abilities to help the Nuclear Throne in combat. Each Mutant will let all the Throne's attacks minicrit and will give it a special passive. A single Mutant can sit on the Throne for three turns at a time.
Resignation: The Throne creates a massive explosion on death that deals moderately high damage to all enemy entities and inflicts them with Radiation for three turns. It also leaves behind... something.
ATTACKS:
Nuclear Fission: The Throne fires two large green orbs that split into many smaller orbs with each passing second. All of these green orbs bombard various enemies, dealing moderately high damage to two enemies. Inflicts both enemies with Radiation for three turns.
Uranium Turret: The Throne readies its two shoulder turrets and fires a large volley of bullets in a triple shot formation, dealing moderate damage to three enemies. Inflicts all enemies with Radiation for two turns. Has a 50% chance of repeating this attack again after its initial use, but it targets another side at random - AG, N, H, or GS.
Giga Beam: The Throne fires one massive beam of radiation out of its superlaser that deals high damage to one enemy. Inflicts the enemy with Radiation for four turns.
Nuclear Fusion: The Throne takes all the Radiation debuffs it's applied and compounds them together into one massive ball of energy that deals moderately high damage to an enemy multiplied by the number of Radiation debuffs currently on the field. This removes all Radiation debuffs.
Firewall: The Throne uses its exhaust pipes to create a ring of fire around it. Any enemy that tries to attack the Throne that turn will take moderate damage and their attack will fail. Inflicts the enemy with Radiation for a turn.
SPECIAL ATTACKS:
Nuclear Generator: The Throne summons two Large Generators, huge constructs with large HP. They are allied with the Throne. Each turn, they will give passive regen to the Nuclear Throne. They can be targeted by anyone and anything, including allied entities and players. Upon destruction, the Nuclear Generator will create a massive explosion that will deal high damage to two enemies and inflict moderately low recoil damage. Takes three turns to charge.
Guardian: The Throne destroys all ten Throne Statues. Each one spawns a Guardian with moderately large HP, and each deals moderately low damage. The entity that deals the killing blow to a Guardian gains the Radiation debuff for two turns. Takes two turns to charge.
King Me: Activates the Throne's power to summon any Mutant from Nuclear Throne. Possible candidates include Fish, Crystal, Eyes, Melting, Plant, Y.V., Steroids, Robot, Chicken, Rebel, Horror, and Rogue. Two additional candidates will be unlocked if King Me is used three times. Each Mutant has a special power on the field. Takes four turns to charge.
Fish: Nuclear Wave: The Throne lights with green fire, counterattacking any enemy that attacks it for three turns by rolling throne-first into it. The counterattack deals the same amount of damage the enemy dealt to the Throne.
Crystal: Nuclear Shield: The Throne gains a massive nuclear crystal shield that gives it 75% damage resistance for three turns.
Eyes: Nuclear Sight: The Throne gains a large amount of holographic eyes that have a 50% chance to reflect enemy fire sent at its allies (and it) to an enemy, dealing the same amount of damage that would have normally been dealt to the ally.
Melting: Nuclear Death: The Throne gradually gathers up the corpses of all the fallen entities across the battle over the course of three turns, ultimately detonating them in front of two enemies and dealing very high damage. It cannot attack normally during this time.
Plant: Nuclear Growth: The Throne gains an extra set of mutated legs that have the power to ensnare enemies. For three turns, any enemy that attacks the Nuclear Throne will become Ensnared, unable to attack for a turn.
Y.V.: Nuclear Bling: The Throne becomes plated with solid gold for three turns. During this time, all of its attacks will generate 5-10 Pennies that will be used to help Ultra Greed if he is still alive during the time Nuclear Bling is active. If he isn't, the bling will be used to heal the Nuclear Throne instead.
Steroids: Nuclear Muscles: The Throne gains duplicates of all its weapons, letting it attack twice for three turns.
Robot: Nuclear Conversion: The Throne sacrifices its ability to attack for three turns. In exchange, it gains a large passive regen and gives three random allies crits for three turns.
Chicken: Nuclear Undeath: The Throne instantly dies, but it is still able to attack. This means it can't actually be killed since it's already dead. The Throne stays in this undead state for three turns, attacking normally. When the three turns are up, the Throne is revived with 25,000 HP regardless of previous HP.
Rebel: Nuclear Sacrifice: The Throne will take moderately high recoil damage each turn for three turns to summon miniature Nuclear Thrones that attack in tandem with the real Throne. Each Nuclear Throne adds a +25% bonus to the regular Nuclear Throne's attack power.
Horror: Nuclear Nuclear: The Throne will forfeit the ability to inflict Radiation for three turns, but in exchange, all of its attacks will crit instead of minicrit.
Rogue: Nuclear Strike: The Throne immediately creates a long line of explosions that deals moderate damage to two enemies. However, because it has used illegal tech to activate the attack, the Throne is now wanted by the I.D.P.D., who travel to the battlefield for three turns. The Throne takes control of them and uses the I.D.P.D. to deal moderately high damage to a random entity for three turns.
February 16, 2016 - Post #3,416
The Hourglass:
(+2 from Tazz)
(+2 from jondanger, +1 from FBSN and TFT in reserve)
I +3 crystalcat.
Ultra Greed buys and uses Bling Cleansing, Asterism uses Black Key and applies its healing effect to Ultra Greed, and the Nuclear Throne uses Nuclear Fission.
The Scribe sees that Earth is destroyed and shrugs. "I don't live there anyway." He then glares at Hyperstorm, finding his next target. The Scribe flashsteps across the field and sails into the air, flying right next to the Hyperstorm. The Scribe reaches into the folds of his jacket, rummaging around for something in particular before gravity starts to take hold... Finding it, the Scribe pulls out his most deadly weapon - the Journal. The Scribe chucks the book at the Hyperstorm. It flies through the air, bouncing off of the Hyperstorm with an audible clink.
Nothing happens for several seconds, but then the Scribe and the Journal both fall to the ground. After the Scribe snaps his fingers, there is a massive shuddering noise as the Hyperstorm falls out of the air and sinks right through the ground. Whatever the Journal just did created a force of gravity so strong that it was powerful enough to override the Hyperstorm's defenses, causing it to fall.While the Hyperstorm was trying to escape, its atoms passed right through the server, making it effectively intangible. As the Hyperstorm lodges itself into the server's underground stone, it suddenly snaps back into reality. Since two things are occupying the same space at once, an absolutely massive explosion occurs as the universe tries to fix the problem by blowing one of those two things up.
February 18, 2016 - Post #3,455
The Hourglass:
(+6 from Cobalt)
(+2 from jondanger, +1 from FBSN, Revan, and TFT in reserve)
I +3 crystalcat.
I do nothing. I'm holding this for next turn.
February 24, 2016 - Post #3,543
The Hourglass:
(+6 from Cobalt, +1 from Tazz)
(+4 from TFT, +2 from jondanger, FBSN, and Revan in reserve)
I +3 crystalcat.
I focus this action.
The Scribe decides to express his feelings of turmoil caused by flowers and pacts by turning to the field of modern art. He sits down in a random field somewhere and lets nature flow through him, taking in the blissful scenery of gunsmoke, nuclear fallout, jagged ravines, corruption, oblivion, and the corpses of fallen entities. Truly, this is a serene existence. The Scribe decides to use this power to literally splash an entire can of dark blue paint onto a canvas and watch it dry for a few hours as to take in the paint's purpose in this uncaring world.
He watches the paint drip down onto the canvas, little beads of it trickling down and slowly drying. It's so satisfying, seeing them tumble and turn. Seconds flash by, then minutes. The Scribe is lost in his own world, a world that would suggest monotony and severe boredom, but is amazing to those who stop and watch. Imaginary lives for individual splotches of paint dance in the Scribe's head, a rich history of a paint-filled dimension forming in his mindscape. Other entities stop and stare too, but they aren't distracted for long.
Literally six hours of this crap goes by. Yeah.
Finally, the Scribe's entire body petrified as he hasn't moved a muscle for who knows how long, he snaps out of his eternal slumber, bits of rock falling off of his being. The Scribe has finally realized how to improve this already perfect work of art! He takes a paint brush, gets some white paint, and slowly paints a horizontal line at the middle of the canvas. Yes. Now this represents the horizon, the thing far in the distance, the sun slowly rising. Or is it setting? The Scribe doesn't know, but he knows you can go forward as much as you want, but you can never go back.
Marred by this line of flaming sun, the Scribe's idyllic landscape has turned into his own little inferno. War plays out in his mind. The utopia turns into a dystopia. Now that the Scribe's painting has a rich and lush story centered around it, he pulls out a golden spike, drives it into his ear, and feels his mind explode into static. After several seconds, a glob of multicolored liquid appears on the tip of the spike that suddenly bursts into indigo flame. The Scribe splatters it onto the painting, giving it an unearthly tinge.
"My thoughts have been imbued into this painting. Those who see it now know the horror of the world I have created." The Scribe shows it to the Tombstones, causing images of horrifying paint-based wars to fill their heads. They dissolve into globs of paint. Everything is paint. You are paint. I am paint. We are paint.
Paint.