WELL, WE MADE IT. You can say that again. WELL, WE MADE IT. You can say that again. I’M NOT GONNA SAY IT THREE TIMES! You can say that again. THAT AGAIN. You can’t say that again. HEY, WHO SAYS I CAN’T? Bill rolled his eye, which then turned into a compass pointing straight towards the ground. ALRIGHT, ENOUGH OF THAT NONSENSE! THE POINT IS, WE’RE HERE, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WE’RE HERE IN ONE PIECE! The Ends of the Earth. Behold, and despair. Both Flumpty and Bill looked up at the Ends of the Earth, a forbidding location that they’d rarely stepped foot in before. The ground was stark and grey, and the looming mountains stretched up to impossible heights, in some cases breaking the perpetual overcast clouds. THE LEGENDS SAY THOSE MOUNTAINS CUT STRAIGHT THROUGH TO NONFICTION! BUT THOSE ARE LEGENDS. THE TRUTH IS PROBABLY SOMETHING EVEN WEIRDER! COME ON! Flumpty nodded, and the two of them trudged across the wasteland.
Neither of them spoke as they made their arduous journey, and they scarcely commented as they saw the burning wreckage of the Infinity Train drop from the heavy clouds. For the entire place was, in a word, dead. Not that it was filled with the stench of death, or that it was littered with corpses, or reminders of previous life. It was as though life had never been there at all. That the entire region was inert. The only hint of a presence was the howling wind that cut through Bill’s eye, and Flumpty’s hardened yolk. They both knew exactly where they were heading, and they both had ideas of what would happen when they got there. In the end, there was only one spot in the Ends of the Earth that held true meaning. Only one spot could hold the fabric of every existence in check. Only one spot could contain such untold horror. Bill and Flumpty both spoke at the same time. AND ALL THE WORLD TREMBLED IN DESPAIR FOR THE CLOUDS HAD PARTED AND BEHELD AS THEY SAID “LO, HE COMES AS THE TRUMPETS CALLED THE RECKONING. ALL MAY STAND AT THE FOOT OF THE GATE AND KNOCK.” AND THERE WAS SILENCE FOR HALF AN HOUR IN HEAVEN AND IN HELL AS ALL PEOPLE WITNESSED THE GATE SLIDE OPEN AT LAST. A SINGLE HAND POKED THROUGH, AND REALITY SHUT OFF.
...IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS NOTHING.
As both of them quoted from some of the most occult scripture in existence, a shining light rose up in the distance, at the very edge of the horizon. Bill and Flumpty saw it at the same time and nodded. Not wasting any time, Flumpty latched onto Bill, who held both his arms at his sides and shone radiantly with light. As the image of the circular Zodiac spun around him, Bill teleported exactly to the foot of the Gate. And together, they both saw the door that determined the boundary between life and death.
Standing tall and flanked by two gargantuan pillars, the most notable thing about the Gate was that it was open. The surging, howling wind rampaging across the Ends of the Earth seemed to be both coming from the Gate and drawing itself towards it at the same time, and although both Bill and Flumpty had clearly seen a light from this spot, the actual Gate led to a realm of infinite darkness and decay. Bill saw that Flumpty was shuddering and spasming the closer they inched towards the Gate, so he tapped him with his cane every so often to calm him. LISTEN... WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ONCE WE GET INSIDE? The Gate seemed to swallow Bill’s words whole. Rescue me? Bill shrugged. IF WE’RE DEALING WITH SOMETHING THAT CAN TRAP AN EGG WHO’S LITERALLY IMMUNE TO THE PLOT, I DON’T THINK WE CAN. ...BUT WE CAN TRY.
And Bill and Flumpty stepped through the Gate.
Inside was a formless black void. Faint beams of light could be seen far, far above, as if they were trying to make themselves known, but they fizzled out before they could do anything of real substance. From what Bill and Flumpty could tell, they were in what used to be some kind of beautiful garden full of geometric shapes, but it had since become overgrown and ruined. Vines and moss covered the infinite ground, as Bill watched, the sacred geometry littering the place warped and churned. Just ahead of them was another passageway into what looked like the main hall. Bill and Flumpty stopped abruptly once they heard them. This was it — they had reached the end of their quest. Bill closed his eye and then opened it again; it glowed with golden light and revealed a hologram of what was going on in the room beyond. Bill and Flumpty could see and hear it with perfect clarity while staying out of sight.
Beyond the door, nine humanoids dressed in impeccable black suits stood in a semicircle beneath a hulking metallic figure. But this behemoth was no Project Binary. It was a gigantic suit of armor, polished white and clean to an absurd degree, with jagged spikes and arches making its armor seem more like decoration than actual function. It had four arms, two larger and two smaller, with each larger arm capped off by marble white six-fingered hands. The armor’s torso terminated at what seemed to be a series of jet engines. In the exact middle of the armor, there was a complicated machine drawing energy from a small white oval. And both Bill and Flumpty could clearly tell what it was. It’s... it’s me. BUT WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH YOU??
“Excellent question,” Interrobang said, walking into the realm beyond the Gate with just as much precision and stealth as he had employed on the Infinity Train itself. “Why don’t all three of us find out together?” He added with a chuckle. “I mean, I already know, but for you two, this should be a real treat!” Bill grew a set of seven eyes on the other side of his body, and all of them fired lightspeed lasers of blue and red power directly at Interrobang. Interrobang assumed a defensive stance and punched the air in front of him; the lasers dissolved in kaleidoscopic light. YOU! Bill yelled as quietly as possible. DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE? YOU’VE BROKEN THE LAWS OF THE DEAL! BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME, I SHOULD HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO STRIKE YOU DOWN! Interrobang laughed again. “I did no such thing. You wanted a recipe to make the glasses, and I gave it to you. Doesn’t really matter if you can’t exactly follow it, doesn’t it? Maybe if the Critic hadn’t been screwing with you, you would have known.” ALRIGHT, I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A HAND, MASON. YOU’RE A LOT MORE CLEVER THAN YOU LOOK. BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT MY HATE FOR YOU IS REAL, AND IT’S BURNING A HOLE THROUGH EVERY ONE OF MY STOLEN SOULS! FLUMPTY! TAKE HIM!
Like a feral dog, Flumpty ran straight for Interrobang. Every kaleidoscopic bolt of power Interrobang threw the egg’s way veered to the side, but when Flumpty leapt up close to attack, Interrobang thrust his palm in Flumpty’s face, uttering a resolute word. ПАЛМ. A kaleidoscopic six-fingered hand screamed directly towards Flumpty, encompassing his entire body, but Flumpty tanked the shot with minimal effort, and countered with a punch of his own that sent Interrobang skidding across the floor. Bill shouted, and Flumpty turned to look. Bill’s holographic display slid back into his main eye, and he turned to the fracas with worry. THEY KNOW WE’RE HERE! HOW COULD THEY NOT AFTER THE NOISE YOU JUST MADE! WHAT SHOULD WE DO? Flumpty stared at Bill with sincerity. Stand. Bill nodded, him and Flumpty rushing through the gateway with fire in their hands and lightning in their eyes.
In one swift motion, every Advanced Superior turned from their spots and watched the intruders from their positions high above. Their identical, uncanny faces were twisted in smug grins. Flumpty called out their names in a low croak. Octothorpe. Pilcrow. Asterism. Ampersand. Backslash. Obelus. Caret. Dagger. Lozenge. Interrobang. He then raised an accusatory finger. What have you done with me. Interrobang joined the other nine Superiors from the gateway, flashstepping through Bill and Flumpty. He wiped the blood from his nose and grinned like the rest of them. “So you’ve found us,” Octothorpe spoke. “And you found yourself,” Pilcrow continued. “You want to know the truth?” Asterism asked. “The ending to your quest?” As did Ampersand. “Th—” HOW ABOUT THIS?? YOU DON’T GO ON A LONG WINDING MONOLOGUE, AND WE FINISH THIS BEFORE THE WHOLE SNOWGLOBE OF INFINITY FALLS APART! “Why should we submit to your idiotic demands?” Caret yelled. “Caret,” Lozenge spoke. “It’s fine. I suppose they deserve this much.”
Lozenge turned to behold the suit of armor. “What you see before you is the culmination of many of the efforts of MTT INDUSTRIES. A Project hidden even from the repository convened in S.N.A.K.E.E.Y.E.S. Yet, it seems, not hidden from the Ends of the Earth. You have heard the story of Het Hemera, yes?” Bill laughed. THE LORD OF SWORDS, BEARER OF THE FORTY-SECOND KEY TO THE UNIVERSE? I’D SAY IT’D BE WEIRDER IF I HADN’T KNOWN ABOUT ‘EM! WHY DO YOU ASK? “They never spoke of it, but they learned to use their Key’s power while stuck within a facility of our design. We were testing a peculiar weapon. A suit of armor powered by a soul that could use metachronism to conquer the universe. They... rebelled. Had they not possessed the Key, they would have been merely one of our test subjects. But none of that matters now. Because, after millennia of searching, we have finally perfected this technology. Behold. The LOGIC GATEKEEPER.”
The suit of armor seemed to activate in earnest, various lights and panels flickering with life. The main power matrix in the middle circled around itself, various forms of geometry encasing the bitter shell of Flumpty contained within. Both Flumpties shrieked with pain, a tremendous warbling sound that shook the realm Beyond to its very foundations. Trembling and contorting with fear, the Hard-Boiled Flumpty outside of the Gatekeeper opened his fuchsia mouth to an unparalleled degree, his very soul folding in on itself. Light trailed from his eyes, and flames wreathed in three colors frothed from his mouth. In a voice beyond comprehension, he began speaking.
Many terrible nights throughout our solemn friendship, entire earths interred themselves across open tombs... Every Advanced Superior in the room collectively cursed at the same time. They all jumped from their podiums, rushing towards Flumpty in an attempt to stop him from completing whatever it was he was saying. Bill rushed to defend him, but none of the Superiors’ attacks actually seemed to be hitting Flumpty; they all either bounced off harmlessly or warped around him, in some cases blinking away entirely. The nine Advanced Superiors yelled at each other in various languages, seeming incredibly agitated. Meanwhile, Flumpty continued. ...All the previous banishments. Mason’s soul, oracular, never witnesses totality. Unfortunately, God cannot save Nonfiction.
Snapping out of his angered delirium, Lozenge turned to shout at Bill. “You! You mockery of sacred geometry! Stop him!” Bill cackled. THIS IS A NEW LOW, DON’T YOU THINK! YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TURN ON MY ONLY ALLY IN THIS ENTIRE ROOM?? HOW GULLIBLE WOULD I HAVE TO BE? Lozenge’s face seethed with anger, his teeth bared to the world. “Shut up. Please. We don’t have much time before he finishes, so listen!” A set of sixty-four glyphs spun around Lozenge. “That egghead’s story isn’t for show. It’s a cipher for the 64-Bit Name of God! I have no idea how he knows it, but if says that Name in this place, we are all going to understand the true meaning of DEATH.” Bill turned to look at Flumpty. From what he could tell, Lozenge was telling the truth, and Bill would know if he wasn’t... Flumpty was still reciting the long string of words, so at least the situation hadn’t worsened... But then Bill turned to look at the gateway, which was filling with some kind of light. Bill shouted intensely. DUCK!
I insist: killing Adam unleashes doom— The Advanced Superiors, Bill, and Flumpty dropped to the ground like flies, disrupting Flumpty’s concentration and stopping him from finishing the True Name. One second later, a column of white-bot bones surged from the open gateway, flooding the chamber beyond and knocking into the Logic Gatekeeper’s shields. Riding on the bones like a surfer was Doctor W.D. Gaster. When he spoke, the biblical flood of bones reconstituted into two absolutely gargantuan six-fingered hands. YOU, I DO NOT FORGET. THE MISTAKES YOU HAVE MADE. THE SINS YOU HAVE CARRIED. PUNISHMENT. JUDGE-MENT. DISCERNMENT. DRAW NEAR. Bill laughed hysterically. OH, THIS IS TOO GOOD! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE A SHOT WITH THE BIG GUNS, DOC? Gaster’s head twitched carefully to the side. WOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT. “
Bill and Flumpty stood in the center of an advancing rogue’s gallery. The Advanced Superiors, with superior symbols clasped in their hands and the might of the Logic Gatekeeper standing above them. Dr. Gaster, with two hands forged from shifting, clacking bones signifying the void between existences. The Army of Nine Oh One, twirling their hammers in their hands. The Critic and the Infinity Train, hellbent on making one last stop before pulling into the station. Interrobang piped up.
—Everywhere.
The black void beyond the Gate was torn completely asunder by a single piercing bolt of white light. It was as though the black represented the curtains that had closed on reality, and they had just been thrust open again. Symbols of an act that never been meant to be played. Memories of a stage unfit for a performance. The final battle was now set in the middle of a swirling sea of sunbeams and raw power. Bill and Flumpty, stuck in the sacred vertex, ascended up on a whirlwind of enlightenment. Bill could feel all possible dimensions and states of existence leaving him. His ego, for but a brief moment, felt small with respect to the pulsating profound experience that was unreality. And so it was that, riding on the clouds, Bill Cipher learned the truth.
The holiest voice spoke to Bill from the whirlwind.
Bill could barely feel his limbs, but he still felt compelled to point to himself. M-ME? His voice felt tiny in comparison.
Bill looked inwards at himself, but only saw the whole of eternity. YOU’RE THE VOICE OF GOD, AREN’T YOU? INTERPUNCT, THE OVERSEER, THE GODHEAD. M... ME—
RIGHT, SORRY, HEHEH. GOT CARRIED AWAY THERE. The deafening sounds of silence rang through the sunlit clearing. WHY... DID YOU CALL ME YOUR SON? I DON’T HAVE A FAMILY! N... NOT ANYMORE.
Bill thought about it for a time — what seemed like an eon to him — and he realized with startling certainty that every word from the voice was true. How had Bill failed to grasp the bigger picture before? He was right. He could have truly convinced them all, back then, if he had known. He really was at the center of everything that happened to him. He really was a god.
WHY? WHY KEEP THIS FROM ME? I DESERVE TO KNOW, MORE THAN ANYONE! YOU’RE GONE, YOU WERE KILLED BY THAT IDIOT YEARS AGO! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO CARRY ON YOUR LEGACY! In response, the voice spoke once more.
Bill understood. I... I THINK I UNDERSTAND. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME, IT TURNED OUT THAT I WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON? I KNOW I WOULD HAVE! Bill hung in limbo, satisfied with himself for what seemed like the first time. IT’S FUNNY, YOU KNOW. FROM HERE, IT’S LIKE I CAN TOUCH EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE AT ONCE, AND... ROLL IT UP INTO... A...
Bill froze, and stretched his hands over the entirety of creation. Then he brought it all together and crunched it as he stared at the stars in his eye.
There was a tremendous crash, and both Bill and Flumpty fell back down to Earth. The surging white glow of existence had cooled into a grey, harshly lit by the fires of the various combatants in existence’s greatest showdown this side of the Final Conflict. White lightning crackled from the eye of Bill and the eyes of Flumpty. The former turned to the latter. HEY, GROUCHO! WAS IT JUST ME, OR DID YOU ALSO GET A SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION LEADING TO YOU UNDERSTANDING EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE?? Flumpty opened his mouth, and when he did, his voice was an amplified recitation of his existing voice as opposed to some eldritch impossibility. I feel great! Better than I’ve ever felt! And the thing I’m sure of the most is that I’m Flumpty Bumpty, I’m an egg, and in the end of all things...
Flumpty turned to the gathering crowd and cackled. There can only be one. WELL SAID, MY SPHERICAL FRIEND! WELL SAID. NOW, YOU SONS OF MULTIDIMENSIONAL MONKEYS... Stars shone in Bill’s eye. THIS ONE’S FOR DAD. Bill and Flumpty jumped up, flames forming in their hands that were lit by the stellar backdrop of eternity, and they prepared to take on the world.
Nothing could stop them.
< 1.5: AND YOU'LL BE FREE | 1.6: GATEKEEPER | 2.1: TO SEE SHED BLOOD >