PART THREE.

XI.

Some time later...

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED ABOUT METACHRONISM? the floating orchid triangle said. TO THREE-DIMENSIONAL BACTERIOPHAGES LIKE EPIDERMIS-WALKERS (OR JUST BACTERIOPHAGES THEMSELVES), IT MUST SEEM LIKE THIS COMPLETELY FOREIGN IDEA, PRACTICALLY MAGICAL IN SCOPE! THE ABILITY TO CALL TOGETHER A SET OF SEEMINGLY ARBITRARY ELEMENTS AT ODDS FROM THE FOUR CLASSICAL ONES PERPETRATED THROUGH MOST CIVILIZATIONS SOUNDS LIKE NONSENSE WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THE CONNECTIONS. HELL, EVEN TO EIGHTH-DIMENSIONALS THAT’VE BEEN GRANTED ACCESS TO THE OCTAHEDRON AND SHOULD BE IN THEORY JUST SHY OF REACHING THAT CONSTELLATE POINT, METACHRONISM SEEMS AS OBTUSE AND ALIEN AS EVER. BUT WHEN YOU FINALLY BREAK BEYOND THAT BARRIER AND ENTER THE NINTH DIMENSION, IT ALL BECOMES CLEAR! Really? the black hard-boiled egg shrugged. I was under the impression that metachronism was a nonsense word made up just to sound mysterious and give the idea that the Order and Curses were cooler than they really were.

The triangle took a sip of glass from sparkling purple liquid that looked like a cross between a martini and a milkshake. KID, EVERY WORD IS MADE UP TO SOUND A CERTAIN WAY. THE TRUE POWER IN REALITY LIES IN THE WORDSMITHS. THE ONES THAT CRAFT STORIES OUT OF RANDOM SETS OF CHARACTERS. EVERY NAME HAS POWER, AND EVERY LETTER! I MEAN, I’M SURE THAT EVEN THE LATIN ALPHABET HAS TWENTY-SIX DIFFERENT ELEMENTS UNDER ITS CONTROL, BUT THOSE ARE SO DILUTED THAT IT BARELY MATTERS. WATCH AS “D” ENDS UP BEING AN EPITHET FOR DEATH OR SOMETHING. IT’LL HAPPEN! It already has, the egg said as he downed a gulp of flaming cyan liquid. He thrust the glass onto the counter, and a crack ran down the glass. The egg blinked and scoffed, shoving the glass away from him. He reached into hammerspace and took out another glass, then reached in again. A stream of swirling green liquid began pouring into the glass. He filled it to the brim, then raised it up and took a sip.

Huh. Didn’t know the fruit of knowledge from Eden tasted like a green apple. IT WASN’T AN APPLE. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? Maybe prehistoric fruits tasted different. BET YOU COULD FIND OUT WITH METACHRONISM! What is it with you and metachronism? You get one look at God and all of a sudden you’re spouting off about divinity. YOU STOLE GOD FROM ME, YOLK-FOR-BRAINS! I WAS STANDING IN A CHAMBER OF UTTER ENLIGHTENMENT AND YOU TORE ITS CARPET FROM UNDER MY FEET! I FELL OVER AND LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT! I’M ASSUMING I LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT, BECAUSE I’D IMAGINE IT’S HARD TO SEEM IMPOSING WHEN YOU’RE WASTED ON THE GROUND WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF ETERNITY LEAKING OUT OF YOUR HALF-BLIND-WITH-WONDER EYEBALL. Yeah, you’re right on the money. You looked like an idiot. SEE?? I’M RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!

The egg took another sip. I think we’re ignoring the fact where you were about to be literally consumed by the sheer wonder of the 64-Bit Name and combust into goddamn flames! I saved your life! I gave you a chance to keep going on your plan to kill the Zodiac, or whatever idea you have in your head today. You can’t even thank me for that? The triangle shrugged, adjusting his hat as his eye tore apart, morphing into a mouth that took another sip from the sparkling liquid. I TRY NOT TO GIVE THANKS, KID. EXPRESSING GRATITUDE TO ANOTHER PERSON MEANS YOU CONCEDE DEFEAT TO THEM. YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HOW THEY GOT YOU THROUGH A CHALLENGE WHILE YOU WERE TOO WEAK. AND YOU SHOULD NEVER BE WEAK IF YOU HAVE DREAMS OF MAKING A DIFFERENCE! WEAKNESS IS WHAT DRAGS YOU INTO THE PIT KICKING AND SCREAMING. STRENGTH IS WHAT LETS YOU JUMP IN VOLUNTARILY, AND BECOME THE KING OF THE ABYSS. The egg rolled his roiling, swirling eyes. So you jumped into Tartarus because you were so absorbed in how amazing you think you are, is what you’re saying. PRETTY MUCH! He laughed, his skeletal mouth tearing at the seams. I’d expect nothing less from you, Bill. Good to have you back. The egg extended his skinny black hand, and the triangle took it. Joined by their palms, their hands spontaneously lit with flame, a soft fwoosh engulfing them as red and blue combined into amethyst. The two geometries gawked, pulled their hands apart, shared an awkward silence, and then busted into laughter.

The triangle turned around and talked to someone else. IT, HEH, JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT YOU PROBABLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT. Yet he blinked, finding that there was no third party in the conversation. The only other person in the bar was a figure in a red cloak sipping from Snapple. The triangle scowled. SO MUCH FOR THAT CALLBACK.

< 2.4: THY WILL BE DONE | 3.1: FROM EDEN | 3.2: SOCKET OF GOD >